Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Hey Rick, its only the media's fault if "Media" is the pet name for your penis.

So Rick Pitino decided it would be a good idea to have a press conference to attack the dreaded "media" for reporting "lies" about him as stated by Karen Sypher. In the course of the press conference he whined about how unfair all of this was for his wife and said that breaking into normal programming to air excerpts of her interview with police was shameful on the day Ted Kennedy died.

It is becoming clear from Pitino's press conferences that Karen Sypher isn't the only one who has some psychological issues that need to be worked through. If you read between the lines at both of Pitino's press conferences, it is clear that he has zero clue why anyone in the community is disturbed by this. Let me lay it out for you Rick:

  1. You cheated on your wife. Yes, these things happen and it is really none of our business, but let's move on to the rest.
  2. You did it in a local restaurant after hours. Maybe this is something that happens every day in the fast-paced world of college coaches, but many of us here in Yokelville find it a bit seedy and a tad gross. You've got a lot of money, surely you could have ponied up for at least a Motel 6.
  3. You were drunk. No sin there, but the fact that you have an assistant there to help you find your way home indicates that maybe this isn't the first time you've been inebriated. Is that one of the "choices" that your book says you have to make to be a "success"?
  4. You did it while an assistant kicked back and waited. When you have a staff member who is willing to do this and doesn't find it the least bit odd, that would sort of indicate that this thing has happened before and that it was probably common knowledge among your staff. Again, this is something many of us in Yokelville have trouble relating to.
  5. Sypher was the wife of a staff member who apparently knew all about your trysts. Can you see how we might find that one a bit troubling as well?
  6. You gave her $3,000 for "health insurance" and/or an abortion. Abortions aren't exactly smiled upon in this part of the world and the fact you didn't have an issue with it kind of shoots what little remaining shred of that "Devout Catholic" thing you had going for you all to hell.
  7. You fired Winston Bennett from your staff saying, "Winston is a tremendous young man, but he just has one terrible weakness. He’s a womanizer. And we’re trying to help him with that problem, to keep his family together and to turn his life in the right direction." Pot, meet kettle.
  8. You have preached all about the "character" of your young men on your team. I'm guessing that these same men got to witness or at least hear about your behavior a time or two.
  9. You have portrayed yourself as a model of "success", writing books and giving speeches. Can you understand why both of these things seem suspect in light of your character during this incident?
  10. Finally, in your apology, you evoked 9/11. Yes, Rick, we understand that you lost your best friend in 9/11 and like anyone else who lost friends and loved ones that day, it must have been terrible. But can you understand why evoking it when you're apologizing about an affair might seem odd to those of us in Yokelville considering the person you lost was THE BROTHER OF THE WIFE YOU CHEATED ON!?!?!?!?! If you're worried about your wife's feelings, why bring this up at all?
Rick, we understand your wife and family don't deserve this. But YOU need to understand that the reason they're facing this is YOU. No, you didn't ask Karen Sypher to blackmail you or lie about you, but you are the one who cheated on your wife. You are the one who did it in an incredibly unseemly fashion. You brought shame on yourself, your family, and your employer. Be glad that you still have your job and your family to fall back on. Let Karen Sypher continue to dig her hole and keep your mouth shut. That is the only choice that will be a success for you in this matter.

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